1. God Exists
2. God is the greatest good.
3. Anything is better when wrapped in bacon.

We’re just going to assume that all three of these are true. I’d argue that the only premise that we have good evidence to support is #3.  Do you know of anything that wouldn’t be better with a layer of bacon?  I sure don’t!  Even a piece of bacon would be a tiny bit better if it were wrapped in bacon.  And what about that piece of bacon wrapped bacon?  Slap some bacon on that sucker and it’s even better!  Now extend this out to its logical end…  The Infinite Bacon Sphere (the IBS).  Endless layers of delicious bacon – each layer adding bacony goodness out to infinite goodness.

But wait!  God is the greatest good!  But even the greatest good would be just a tiny bit better if it were wrapped in bacon, no?  You can probably see where this is headed.  Clearly – the greatest good is God at the center of the IBS.  What’s interesting is that once you’ve acknowledged the supreme goodness of the God/Bacon sphere – you can’t actually differentiate God from the bacon.  Since the bacon is necessary to the goodness, and since God is defined as the greatest good – the only conclusion is that the bacon is part of God – it is God.

This is obviously why the Jews were forbidden to eat pork.  Each bite of bacon would only serve to diminish the goodness of God.